What Really Matters
by Eyes0nfire
Summary: Bella and Edward are 'geeks'. Bella thinks that her life is fine, she doesn't need to be popular, she just needs her best friend Edward. What happens when Edward wants the exact opposite, shows off a hidden talent and leaves Bella behind? Can she cope?
1. Like A Knife

What Really Matters

_**Cause today,  
><strong>__**You walked out of my life,  
><strong>__**Cause today,  
><strong>__**Your words felt like a knife**_

**Like A Knife- Secondhand Serenade**

**(A.N.): Hello! My new story :D... NOTE** Edward is extremely OOC at the moment, I don't want any of you to be like 'WTF'!**

**Here's chapter one...**

**Enjoy :)!**

**(Disclaimer): I Don't Own Twilight :).**

Chapter 1: Like A Knife

_Honk, honk, honk_

I groaned, rubbed my eyes and sat up groggily. Looking over at my alarm, I noticed that it was only 7:00 am. Yawning, I got up and padded downstairs to the front door, stumbling a little of course.

Charlie had already left for work hours ago. Early shifts this week.

I opened it smiling as a pair of beautiful green eyes sparkled down at mine. Edward. My best friend.

He was wearing a simple dress shirt (buttoned up to the top as always), jeans, a large hoodie that covered his shirt and his trademark square glasses.

"Good morning." I mumbled as he walked past me and went to take his seat in the living room.

"You look like you've just woken up." He chuckled, his velvety voice causing goosebumps to appear on my arms like it always did.

"That's because I _have_ just woken up silly now make yourself comfortable I'm going to get changed." I grumbled and bounded up the stairs but of course, being me, I tripped on almost every step.

I threw on a pair of jeans, a top that said 'LIBRARIAN' in the 'Google' text then underneath it read 'the original search engine' and my battered old chucks.

I gave myself a quick once-over in the mirror.

I had dark brown curly hair that had a tinge of red in the light, brown eyes and pale skin. There was nothing really special about me, just a plain Jane.

I had friends, well, _a_ friend. He was sitting downstairs waiting for me and I couldn't help but feel happy when my thoughts turned to him.

We were both 'geeks', him more than me I'll admit.

People at school would ask me why I was friends with him because I was also friendly with his sister Alice and she was extremely popular but I hated popularity, I shied away from it.

I was grateful to fade into the background with Edward. _I_ knew why I was friends with him and that was all that mattered.

I could see past the clothes he wore and the way he acted in school. I saw him for who he was.

Edward was actually very handsome, he had gorgeous messy bronze hair but it was messy in a good way and the most striking green eyes I've ever seen but he covered them behind huge, thick, dorky glasses.

Nobody knew because he hid himself up in his hoodies but Edward had quite a good body too, he went swimming a lot so it really helped. I went swimming with him some times but I always found it hard to keep up plus I was extremely body conscious.

He wasn't only handsome but he was smart, _very _smart. He had a secret passion for music that nobody except me (and his family) knew about.

It made me feel so special that I was the only person he told. He would only ever play for me and his voice was magnificent.

I told Edward everything about me and he told me everything about him, I know that it's unhealthy to crush on your best friend but I just couldn't help it. He was everything a girl could want.

Every morning he would pick me up and take me to school then at night he would give me a lift home. It was our typical daily routine.

Once I had given myself the 'all clear' in the mirror. I stumbled back down the stairs to find Edward eating some toast. As I entered the kitchen and sat down he placed a piece down in front of me.

I didn't realise how hungry I actually was until I took a bite. I wolfed the rest down. Edward laughed at me. I couldn't help but blush.

"Come on lets get going or else we're going to be late." He ushered me out of the door and into his car, a blue Volvo. I rolled my eyes.

"By late do you mean later than we normally get there which is _too_ early if you ask me?" I joked.

"It's only 'too' early because you're not a morning person Bella." He grinned down at me. A beautiful crooked grin that only I got to see.

"Touché." I laughed as we pulled up in the school parking lot. Edward's siblings were already here.

Alice was Edward's twin sister and a complete fashion expert, a complete opposite to Edward. She would always want to make me over every time I went round to their house. _Bella barbie_! I wrinkled my nose is disgust at the thought.

Alice was a nice person, I really liked her. She was much like Edward in appearance, except she was _much_ shorter. She had hazel eyes and short black spiky hair. Everybody loved her. It was hard not to really.

Emmett was Edward's older brother. He was a jock so he had muscles everywhere, he was like a bouncer in a club. He too had hazel eyes but curly caramel hair.

Nobody messed with him, nobody wanted to; he was just a big teddy bear really though. Emmett was a lovable guy and you couldn't help but be infected by his smile. He was constantly teasing Edward but it was all in good nature, if need be Emmett would protect Edward at all costs.

Emmett was also very popular, I guess that Edward was just different from his siblings. For that I was glad though.

A second car pulled up beside Emmett's Jeep, a shiny red Ferrari (or so Edward told me) and a breathtaking girl with long blonde hair, shocking blue eyes and legs that went for miles stepped out. Rosalie Hale.

Rosalie was Emmett's girlfriend and was also head cheerleader, every girl envied her. I had spoken with her briefly a few times, she seemed nice but we weren't really close. I wasn't exactly close with any of them apart from Alice. The rest were just acquaintances really.

Next to step out of the car was Rosalie's twin brother, Jasper. He was Alice's boyfriend. Both were from the south and so, had southern accents although Jasper's was more noticeable than Rosalie's.

"Come on Bella, let's go to class." Edward sniffed and pushed his glasses up as people started to file into the parking-lot.

I knew why he always wanted to get here early, it was to avoid all the stares and nasty remarks that people gave us. They didn't bother me but I knew that some of the comments really hurt Edward.

We took our usual seats in English and talked quietly, trying to fade into the grey walls like chameleons. Unfortunately that didn't last long. It never did.

"Oh look who it is, Edvirgo and Smella. Hows that virginity holding up for ya Eddie? Still intact? Of course it is, I mean look at you, I bet you're embarrassed by the size of your soldier, tiny isn't it?" Mike Newton and his crew snorted with laughter. Edward blushed and looked down.

"Mikey honey you're _soo _funny." The high pitched, nasally voice of Jessica Stanley squawked. Honestly she sounded like a strangled cat on crack.

"Eww Swan look at the state of you, what is with that ridiculously ugly shirt... Librarian aww is that you're aspiration in life?" Jessica's partner in crime, Lauren Mallory (or bimbo number two), giggled in her equally annoying voice.

"Wow Lauren, I'm surprised that you can even pronounce aspiration, never mind know it's meaning. Bravo to you." I retorted sarcastically adding a clap for effect. She just harrumphed and walked away, the rest of the gang following.

Edward let out a big sigh beside me and I grabbed his hand comfortingly under the table.

_'Thank you' _He mouthed as the teacher walked in and began the lesson.

I didn't have my next lessons with Edward. He went off to music and then Spanish. I went off to History and then Gym.

History was uneventful in so many ways.

When the bell finally rang I let out a low groan.

I absolutely _detested_ Gym. I had no co-ordination whatsoever, it was fair to say that I was lousy.

It wasn't just that, but getting ready in the changing rooms, that wasn't a good experience either...

You had girls like Bimbo one and Bimbo two and the queen bitch, Tanya Denali, flaunting their fake tans, bleached blonde hair and their fake giant boobs all over the place.

It made me feel bad because I didn't have what they had. I _had_ boobs, yes, but not massive ones that my daddy paid for. I was by no means tan, I was as pale as they come, practically albino, and my hair was not white with dye. I was average.

I could hear the snide comments start as soon as I entered the changing rooms. I wasn't in the mood for this today.

I walked up to the teacher and gave her a dodgy excuse about being on my period. I was an awful liar. She eyed me suspiciously but let me off anyway. I think she took pity on me.

I excused myself and went to the bathroom. I made sure that I took extra time to get there (people who weren't doing Gym had to referee and lets just say I wasn't the favoured person for the job).

I was just on my way out of the toilets when I heard the three sluts enter the bathroom talking excitedly about something.

I wasn't in the mood for being ridiculed so I just pulled my legs up and sat in the cubicle hugging my knees.

"Oh my gosh he's _sooo _hot!" Lauren gushed.

I rolled my eyes. Typical.

"I know! Who'd have thought that a _geek_ like him would be so gorgeous underneath all that." Tanya exclaimed.

That got me interested, who could they be talking about?

"Kate said that his performance in music was out of this world, he played something on the piano." Jessica informed them.

I frowned, they couldn't be talking about...

"A pianist eh, I wonder what else that man can to with his fingers." Tanya giggled. The other girls cackled. Whores.

"Edward Cullen. Hottest guy in school, I was _not_ expecting that when I woke up this morning." Lauren guffawed.

I couldn't believe it, this had to be some kind of a joke. Edward, _my_ _Edward_?

I heard the shrieks of the girls fade out as they left the bathroom. I tried to move but I couldn't.

My body was glued in place, frozen in shock. Edward couldn't have performed in music. He was far too shy and what did Tanya, Lauren and Jessica mean by him being 'sooo hot'?

I wasn't going back to Gym, I couldn't bear to see everyone's faces. I stayed firmly put, praying that nobody would notice my absence.

As the bell rang signalling lunch my body seemed to be able to move again. I didn't know what to expect now.

Were the girls telling a sick joke because they knew I was in here or were they being serious? I wasn't sure that I wanted to know the answer.

The corridors were busy as I left the bathroom, people looked at me sympathetically as I went past and I didn't like it.

I took calming breaths outside the cafeteria doors, preparing myself for what might be on the other side.

As I pushed the doors open and tentatively stepped into the room I couldn't believe what I saw...

Edward was sat at the 'popular' table with Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett. Jessica was sat on his left, Lauren was on his right and Tanya was on _his_ _lap._ I was absolutely horror struck.

Edwards appearance was different now too. His glasses were gone, his hoodie was gone. He had opened up the top few buttons on his shirt, showing off a bit of his chest and he seemed to be lapping up the attention that everyone was giving him.

I needed to find out what was going on. I walked slowly up to the table and looked directly at Edward. Ignoring Tanya's death glare.

All eyes fell on me, I could feel the blush forming on my cheeks but I stayed strong.

"Edward can I talk to you please?" I asked.

He gestured cockily for me to speak. Waving his hands in front of him.

"In private." I added.

"Let me just go and see what the nerd wants, probably a good equation for her to sink her teeth into." He shrugged and got up, not before giving Tanya a light kiss on the cheek, this caused her to giggle like an idiot.

I felt a twinge of pain in my heart, whether it was from the nerd comment or from the kiss I didn't know, I went with the latter.

I pulled him outside the door and turned on him.

"What is all this about?" I whispered so that passers by couldn't hear.

"All of what?" Edward smirked.

"All of this!" I said, gesturing wildly to his new look.

"I'm popular now."

"But Edward, this isn't you. The Edward I know doesn't sit with the sluts; he sits with me, he sits with his _best friend_." I shouted my voice was getting higher. The corridor was mostly empty now.

"Tanya is not a slut! Just because I'm not sat with you. You're jealous of me, of my popularity. You say 'the Edward I knew' well let me tell you something, you know nothing about me you're just a stupid little girl who can't seem to be happy for her so called '_best friend_'." He fumed.

That hurt, this was definitely not the Edward I knew.

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous? I gave up everything for you Edward, I did it for _you_, because you _were_ the best thing in my life. How could you?" I yelled, I could feel the tears building in my eyes.

"I don't need this. Like I said, you don't _know_ me, I have a girlfriend to get back to so just get lost you... you pathetic loser!" He spat.

Coming from anyone else, I wouldn't care but coming from Edward. That was different. That cut me straight through.

"You're right, I don't know you." My voice broke.

I couldn't hold it back now, the tears spilled from my eyes faster than I wanted them to.

I turned on my heels and ran back towards the girls bathroom. I could have sworn that I saw a look of hurt cross Edward's face but I was probably just imagining it. That's what I _wanted_ to see after all.

I _wanted_ him to come after me and hug me tightly, telling me that he was playing a sick joke and that he was so sorry, that he never meant to hurt me.

But people don't always get everything they want do they?

**(A.N): So there we have it. Chapter uno of my new, all human, story! I hope you liked it :D.**

**I know that Edward is massively OOC but stick with him. He's not all bad I swear :P.**

**Also to anyone who reads my other story 'I Know What I Am' I just want to say that, yes I know it has been aeons since I last updated but I'm not abandoning the story I promise. I'm just having trouble getting the ideas in my head to form into words on a screen. I will update, I just don't know when that will be. Please be patient with me. I decided that this story would be like a mini- break to try and get my ideas flowing again. I am having fun with this plot though so we shall see where this leads :).**

**Review and let me know what you think :D!**

**Love you...**

**-XColourOfAngelsX-**


	2. Complicated

What Really Matters

_**Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?  
><strong>__**I see the way you're  
><strong>__**Acting like you're somebody else  
><strong>__**Gets me frustrated**_

**Avril Lavigne- Complicated**

**(A.N.): Helloooooooo my lovelies. Here we are at chapter 2 and I'm hoping that you all are enjoying this as much as I am :). I'll not keep you waiting by blabbing on any longer :P.**

**Enjoy :D...**

**(Disclaimer): I Don't Own Twilight :).**

Chapter 2: Complicated

I stayed in the girls bathroom until the bell rang to signal the end of dinner. I made sure that the corridors would be completely empty before unlocking myself from my hiding place and stepping out into the hallway.

My eyes were puffy and red and I was starting to get a headache from all the crying I'd been doing. How could he have said those things to me? I really thought I knew him better. Obviously not.

I slipped out into the parking lot and my face fell even more when I realised that Edward was the one who'd brought me here, I'd have to walk home and the rain was pounding against the ground. I sighed and started the twenty minute walk back to my father's house.

I never usually skipped class or ditched school but this was an emergency, if school rang Charlie I'm sure he'd understand. It would be an awkward conversation and I'd have to try and stop him from kicking the crap out of Edward but he'd understand.

Edward. What had happened for him to suddenly just change like that? His words kept replaying over and over in my brain.

"_Just because I'm not sat with you."_

"_I have a girlfriend to get back to so just get lost you... you pathetic loser!" _

Girlfriend.

Pathetic loser.

Jealous.

Fresh tears appeared in my eyes and quickly made their way down my face. He was right, I _was_ jealous of the fact that he was sat with Tanya and not me. I _was_ jealous that she got to be his girlfriend. I _was _jealous that he would no longer be playing for my ears only. I _was _pathetic for even thinking that maybe Edward could feel the same way about me at all. I was so disposable to him.

A soft sob erupted from my mouth and I sat on the rain- soaked ground just crying for the things that I knew could never be.

The sound of tyres pulling up in front of me made me look up and, for the first time in my life, be thankful that it was my father's police cruiser.

I was by now soaked right through to the bone and my face was probably so red that I looked like a tomato.

"Bells, sweetheart, what happened? I got a call from school. Please tell me honey." Charlie begged as he pulled me up off the ground and wrapped his coat around me to try and keep me warm.

Once we got in the car I tried to tell Charlie about everything without crying. I failed miserably. I was still explaining when we were in the house and I had a hot cup of tea in my hands.

When I had finished my sob story I peeked through my drenched hair to gauge his expression. He was livid.

"I've got a good mind to go down to the Cullen household and have words!" Charlie shouted.

"No dad, please don't. You'll just make things worse. Besides what could you say? You can't make him change his mind and be friends with me."

"I _can_ have words about him calling you names and upsetting you like this though."

The door bell rang at the exact same time as the house phone did giving me a good excuse to leave the kitchen. It was always strange expressing any feelings with Charlie, we were both usually very reserved.

"Dad no, just drop it please." I begged as I went to answer the door.

Every fibre in my being wanted this to be Edward coming to apologise. I could live to dream.

I opened the door tentatively, only to be surprised when Alice Cullen stood before me with a very apologetic look on her face.

"Alice, what are you doing here?"

"Oh Bella I'm so so sorry about my brother he-"

"Please don't apologise on his behalf Alice, it's not your fault. You didn't make him say what he said." I sighed.

"I know but Bella he's a complete ass for saying those things. I don't know what's gotten into him really I don't but you sure as hell didn't deserve to be treated like that."

"Thank you Alice."

"Can I, I mean would you mind terribly if I came in for a while?" She asked.

"Oh, sure."

I opened the door fully so that she could step past me and into my house.

"Bells?" My father's questioning look made me smile a little.

"Oh sorry dad. This is Alice, Edward's sister."

"And absolutely nothing like him I swear." Alice grinned, shaking my father's hand enthusiastically.

"Bella that was Billy on the phone, he wanted to know if I was up for fishing tonight then going back to his to watch the game. I told him that I'd have to speak to you first, do you want me to stay tonight?" I could tell that Charlie wanted to go. Why should I stop him from doing the things he likes?

"No dad go, I'll be absolutely fine."

"Are you sure you'll be okay tonight by yourself?"

"Oh Bella wont be by herself tonight." Alice chimed in. "I'll be staying with her, if that's okay of course."

The little twinkle in my father's eyes told me that he liked Alice, he might not like Edward any more but Alice had charmed him.

"That's fine by me. Bells?" Yup definitely charmed.

"Yeah sounds fun." I think my smile was more of a grimace. It wasn't that I didn't want Alice here it was just that I'd rather sit and wallow in my own self pity. Somehow I don't think Alice was gonna let me do that.

"Oh it will be fun Bella! I brought all sorts of fun things to keep us occupied I stopped by the store to grab some munchies and movies and I have my make- up so we can play Bella barbie." She was bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet with the biggest smile on her flawless face.

"Well you two girls have fun." Charlie smiled. He went out to the cruiser to pack away his fishing gear then came back in to give me an awkward hug. With a short 'see you tomorrow' the door was shut and he was gone.

"You're dad's a sweetie pie." Alice cooed. I rolled my eyes at her and shook my head, a small smile playing at my lips.

"Oh Bella, by the end of the night I'm going to have that tiny hint of a smile turned into a full on Cheshire cat grin." She beamed as she skipped out to her little yellow porsche and retrieved the bag of 'goodies'.

She rushed us upstairs to my room to get changed for what she promised to be a night of everlasting spectacularness.

Alice was something else and I was really starting to like her. It's not that I didn't like her before now but I thought she only liked me because I was Edward's friend. That obviously wasn't the case. She must just be a lovely person.

We were halfway through watching 'Cheerleader Massacre' with our chocolate popcorn and giant fluffy pillows when Alice piped up, "You know I actually hate being a cheerleader."

"What?" I was completely taken aback.

"It's just awful, the constant pressure they put you under is horrendous. Oh and the girls are _all_ so bitchy!"

"Why do you do it then? If it makes you unhappy."

"You know I honestly don' t know, I think because I've been doing it for so long I've kind of just stuck with it." She laughed and I laughed too. A little while later she started up again.

"I'm sitting with you tomorrow by the way. I can't let you eat alone, I'd ask you to join us because I know Em, Jazz and Rose would love you there but I don't think you'd be up for it because Douchey Ed will be there with his band of 'loyal' followers."

I was in a state of shock. She would do that for me?

"Wont that cause trouble for you? I mean I'm a nerd remember, it would be socially unacceptable for you to even look at me never mind sit with me." I reminded her.

"Oh Bella I don't care about all that, being popular just comes with the job description of being a cheerleader I don't have to accept it I just do. I don't like it if I'm totally honest and if I want to sit with you I shall, and anyway Bella, being a nerd is more powerful than you think. Everyone loves a sexy nerd." She said with a wink.

I blushed several shades of crimson.

"Seriously sweetie you've got all the goods and I was so shocked when Edward never made a move on you. You are _exactly _his type."

"I couldn't be Alice, Tanya it tall, tan with big boobs and blonde hair. I'm pale, plain and desperately anti-social."

"Bella, Bella, Bella you have more assets than you think you do. I mean those innocent eyes and those not so innocent legs. I'd even wager that they're better than Rosalie's, I'll have to compare that though." She put her hand to her chin and looked far past the ceiling. I blushed again. These compliments were not something I was used to. Ever.

"Tanya's boobs may be big but they're completely fake and you know fake doesn't even come close to the real thing and you have rather large real things." She giggled.

"Alice." I laughed.

"I'm just letting you know that you're more beautiful than you think you are. You're not only beautiful on the outside though, you're beautiful on the inside too Bella, that is so rare in a person these days." She smiled and it was then that I realised just how enchanting Alice really was.

"I love you Alice, thank you for doing this for me. You've helped so much, I would've just sat and cried myself to sleep if you weren't here." I was genuinely grateful for everything.

"Don't waste your precious tears on my dirt bag brother and why would I not be here for you? You're one of my best friends after all." She hugged me tightly.

"You're one of my best friends too Alice." I beamed.

"Oh look my mission is accomplished. I got that Cheshire cat grin." She smiled.

When it was eventually time for us to get some sleep I couldn't help but laugh when Alice pulled out a little panda teddy and snuggled up to it.

As much as Alice distracted me from the thoughts of Edward the darkness didn't do anything to help.

Girlfriend.

Pathetic loser.

Jealous.

I drifted off into a deep, uneasy sleep...

School the next day was awful. Edward wouldn't look at me at all unless it was to sneer at me as he wrapped his arm around his beautiful girlfriend. What did I do wrong? Why was he treating me like this?

True to her word Alice sat with me at break and Jasper even joined us at dinner. Emmett and Rosalie had revision classes for their exam so they didn't sit with us but Alice assured me that if they weren't they would be sat here.

I didn't even look at Edward, I was too afraid.

I walked into biology and took my assigned seat next to Edward, I desperately needed him to speak to me, I was aching for him to acknowledge me. How could I have let myself get like this?

A piece of paper softly falling onto my notebook interrupted my thoughts and I looked up to see Edward quickly looking away. I carefully unfolded the piece of paper and read.

_'Bella,_

_I've been so stupid, I never meant anything I said. The thing is, I realise now just how much I need you in my life. Meet me at the back of school when the last bell rings so I can truly make it up to you and show you just how much I regret my actions._

_Edward.'_

I beamed up at him and he gave me a tiny smile. I couldn't wait until the end of school now.

The last two lessons dragged along as I waited to hear what Edward had to say to me. The unhappiness I felt was suddenly gone, replaced only by pure joy. Joy because I was going to have my best friend back by the end of the day.

When the last bell finally rang I practically flew to the back of school.

Five minutes passed.

I put that down to the general busyness of the school when everyone was trying to get to places all at once.

Ten minutes passed.

A detention maybe. He had taken on a new bad boy image now perhaps he'd been punished for saying something or doing something he shouldn't.

After half an hour I decided that he wasn't going to show up. Dejected and re-broken I turned to leave.

"Bella wait!" My Edward was calling me, running after me. He didn't want me to leave. He wanted to make everything right again.

I turned around and was met with Edward's whole group of friends including him all pointing and laughing.

"Oh Jesus she really is pathetic look at her, she thinks she actually has any chance with you Edward babe. See she's crying now. Ha! Bella I have him why would he want you when he has me? All you'll ever be is lonely and unattractive." Tanya snarled.

"She really is delusional if she thinks I'd ever want her if you were around Tanya, honestly there's no comparison. You're gorgeous and she's quite clearly not." Edward smirked, slipping his arm around her waist and pressing his nose to her cheek. She giggled stupidly.

The tears were streaming freely down my face, by this time the whole of the group erupted into roars of malicious laughter all aimed at me.

"Come on baby, take me home and I'll remind you why you want me and no body else." Tanya whispered seductively, loud enough for me to hear though of course.

My already shattered self got crushed even more as he slapped her ass and they both ran off together their band of followers all making their way home too. Leaving me alone and my heart screaming in agony.

**(A.N.): Poor Bella :(! Nasty Edward :(... I am truly enjoying this story so much it's unreal and I'm only at chapter 2 :D. Okay in reality I'm at chapter 5 but updating-wise you get chapter 2 ;) sorry.**

**Updates soon because you're amazing and always manage to whap a big smile on my ikkle face :)**

**Love you...**

**-XColourOfAngelsX-**


	3. Ignorance

What Really Matters

_**You treat me just like another stranger  
><strong>__**Well it's nice to meet you sir  
><strong>__**I guess I'll go I best be on my way out,  
><strong>__**Ignorance is your new best friend**_

**Paramore- Ignorance**

**(A.N.): Back for more are we ;). Well I can't say I blame you hehehe xD. I know he's a huge ass hole but I have to say I love writing this nasty Edward... I wonder what that says about my personality :P? Anyway darlings here is chapter 3.**

**Enjoy :D...**

**(Disclaimer): Nope I don't own Twilight or any of the sexy characters within ;D.**

Chapter 3: Ignorance

I managed to drag myself to the front of school where, thankfully, no one was. The only car in the lot was Alice's bless her heart, she'd waited for me. I slowly started making my way to her car.

"Bella! There you are! Oh Lord, I just heard about what happened from those vile girls Lauren and Jessica. I'm sorry, so sorry." Alice yelled as she ran as fast as her heels permitted to catch up with me.

"Bella look at me sweetums." She grabbed my shoulders and spun me around to face her. Her face fell as soon as she saw the red blotches on my face.

"Alice." I croaked.

Alice just grimaced and hugged me tightly. Whispering over and over about how I'd never done anything to deserve this.

When Alice pulled away she had a hard look on her face. I certainly wouldn't want to mess with that look. She dipped into her coat pocket, brought out her phone and pressed it angrily to her ear. I sincerely hoped that it wasn't Edward about to pick up on the other line.

"Rose can you meet me at the mall in about twenty minutes... Yeah... Bring your sleepover gear too... Okay... We'll see you there, bye."

"Alice?" She held up a finger as she pressed the phone to her ear once again.

"Hey Charlie, it's Alice! I was just wondering if I could steal Bella away for the night?... We're going to take a trip to the mall with Rosalie... Yes Rosalie Hale... Yes she'd be staying at mine tonight with Rose... Of course I'll be keeping her away from my idiot brother... Oh thank you Charlie, bye." She was beaming as she got off the phone.

"You're on a first name basis with my dad now?" I laughed.

"Of course, you're dad loves me. Now then let's get to the mall for a good old girls night out. You and Rosalie are going to be great friends trust me. You can borrow some pyjamas from my house so we don't need to stop off at yours, unless you want to that is?" She asked as she got in her side of the car.

"No I'm fine." I replied.

"Alright then let's get this show on the road!" Alice clapped as the engine purred to life.

As we zoomed out of town I couldn't help but be reminded of how Edward loved driving dangerously fast. It must be a Cullen family trait. My heart gave a sad twinge when I thought of him.

This only made me angry with myself, he had treated me as though I was the most disgusting piece of crap he'd ever stood in then dragged all over the plush carpet. Alice was right; I didn't deserve to be treated like that by someone who'd been my best friend since I was seven. Why was I so upset? Why had I let him get to me like this?

It all came down to trust I suppose. I had trusted Edward to be there for me every moment of every day just like I was for him. I had trusted Edward with all my secrets, he knew absolutely everything there was to know about me but most importantly I'd trusted Edward with my heart.

I had trusted him not to break it but he did and in doing so he broke the trust.

A solitary tear slid down my face and landed on my hand.

"Bella, are you okay?" Alice asked softly turning slightly to look at me.

"I will be Alice, it's just difficult. I've grown up with Edward always being right by my side. My mother used to say that we were attached at the hip and now he's not here like he promised he would be and he's hurting me. He made so many promises that he couldn't keep" I laughed without humour.

"What do you mean?"

"After my mom died it was like my whole world came crashing down around me, I felt empty and it was Edward that helped rebuild me he promised that whilst he was around I'd never have to feel that kind of hurt again. So, over time, Edward became my world, he was always centred in everything I did because he promised me he'd be there forever. Now that he's being like this he's as good as gone and all I feel is the emptiness that I felt after my mom's death. Only now I have nothing to pick me back up." Silent tears danced over my cheeks and joined the solitary tear on my hand.

"You loved him didn't you?" Alice whispered, she too had tears in her fantastic hazel eyes.

"The stubborn, logical side of me says no, I didn't, but my heart couldn't feel this pain if it was just a silly crush." I bowed my head in disappointment.

"Oh Bella, why has he done this to you? _You_! I mean for Christ's sake you were the only person that saw past his appearance, you saw him for the person he was on the inside and this is how he repays you? I swear to God if he wasn't my brother..." She looked so sorry and I instantly felt bad that she felt like she needed to apologise for his behaviour.

"It's okay Alice, let's just go out and have great time." I managed a smile and she returned it gratefully.

As we pulled up next to Rosalie's car I couldn't help but wonder why on Earth had Alice brought me here, she knew shopping wasn't my cup of tea.

"Hey Rose, you know Bella of course." Alice smiled as Rosalie gave me a hug.

"Listen Bella I don't know if Ali told you why you're at the mall but I'm going to tell you now. We're going to give you a make over but don't worry no drastic changes just a few little things that we hope are going to make you feel better." Rose beamed.

I tried to find enthusiasm in her words but make overs were not one of my favourite thing in the world. I wasn't sure about this.

"First things first, haircut." Alice instructed as we stood outside the hairdressers.

"Really Alice." I said sceptically.

"Of course, like Rose said, nothing drastic but a few slight changes might make you feel better in yourself."

I ended up having side bangs added into my hair and highlights to bring out the red in my hair. I had to admit the finished result was actually pretty decent. My hair turned a lovely colour when it caught the light and the curls were all shiny and perfect.

I did feel a little better in myself and I began to smile.

"Wow Bells, you're hair looks amazing." Rose breathed.

"I know, I wish I had those natural curls like you do." Alice whined. It was rather adorable really. I giggled.

This made them both happy.

"Come on onto the next shop." She grinned.

Now the haircut had been Alice's idea so I was kind of dreading Rosalie's. When we finally arrived at our destination I realised that I had every right to dread.

"Did you know it's been proven that when a woman wears nice underwear it empowers her and makes her feel sexy?" Rosalie bounced her perfectly shaped eyebrows up and down which made me laugh.

"Rose do you really expect me to wear this as part of a daily routine?" I asked grasping a scrap of satin.

"Why not? I do, Emmett loves it." She winked then proceeded to show us her silky red bra.

"I bet he freaking does!" Alice laughed, which caused her to receive a slight thwak from Rose.

"Seriously Bells, you wear nice underwear everyday and you will feel so confident because it's that whole sense of '_you_ know you've got saucy underwear on but no one else does'. You just need to find the style that suits you." Rose exclaimed.

"What do you like?" Alice looked at me expectantly.

"Come again?"

"What underwear are you into, everyone has their favourite. Take our Rosie for example, she _loves_ silk underwear and refuses to purchase anything else. Unless it's the occasional piece of leather." This earned Alice another thwak.

"If you're wondering about my preferences, I'm rather fond of the simple cotton underwear. They do make them just as attractive as the silky numbers." Alice blushed slightly.

"I quite like lace." I said hesitantly.

"Perfect!" They both chorused.

They both then took it upon themselves to buy me every single piece of lace underwear that they could get their hands on. I think I had every single colour that you could possibly hope to buy.

"Now you can throw out all your old ones because you're fully stocked." Rosalie joked.

I had to admit that I loved the underwear that they'd bought me. They even made me go into the bathroom and change. I had to admit I did look impressive. It was a massive confidence boost.

"Well?" They both asked impatiently. I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing at them.

"You were right Rose, I feel so amazing knowing what I've got on under these clothes." I laughed.

She just looked at me as if to say 'see what I mean'.

We shopped a little longer and I ended up adding a few more pairs of shoes, jeans and tank tops to my collection along with a lovely new jacket. I understood now when people, mostly women, said that a good shop with the girls made them feel better.

Then it was time to go back to Alice's, the moment I had been dreading since the start of this trip.

What if Edward wasn't there because of me? Or worse what if Tanya was there? I doubted it, Edward wouldn't bring a girl that he'd been with less than a day home to his parents but then again, that was the Edward I knew. _This _Edward, the stranger would do anything and Tanya had said herself that they would be seeing each other this evening. In fact she mentioned more than just _seeing_ each other but I really did not want to dwell on that, it broke me even more.

As Alice pulled up into her garage I took note of the Volvo parked right next to Emmett's Jeep.

"I take it you aren't staying with us tonight." Alice winked at Rose.

"Well if you want me to then I will but..." She trailed off looking longingly at the window where Emmett's bedroom was.

"Nah chick it's okay, you go, have sexytimes with my brother. Just _puhlease _don't let me and poor Bella, hear it!" Alice laughed then shuddered at her own mental image.

"Well then I shall be seeing you lovely ladies later then." Rosalie beamed and sauntered off into the car, taking her bags of shopping with her.

"Shall we Bella dearest?" Alice offered her arm to me as we got out of the car.

"We shall indeed Alice my love." I giggled taking her arm and doing a bad job of trying to balance the many bags of shopping that I had with me on one arm. Alice seemed to have this technique perfected though.

She dragged me through the house and up to her room where she threw the bags down on her bed.

"Wow, I didn't realise how much I'd bought." She said sheepishly. "And on my card to, oh crap mom's not going to be too pleased... Ah well." She shrugged.

That was another quality I admired in Alice, she was so carefree. If there was a problem, no matter how major, she'd either solve it or just shrug and move on. I'd dwell on things too much. Alice and I were polar opposites but that didn't stop me from wanting to be her friend.

"Let's just go and tell my mom that you're home and that you'll be staying the night." Alice announced as she pulled me up from the dresser and practically dragged me into the kitchen.

When I got to the doorway I stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn't move, I could barely breathe. There he was, sitting with his head in his hands, his fingers lightly tugging at his hair. Something he did a lot when he was nervous or agitated.

Upon hearing our arrival his eyes shot up to mine and widened as he took in the appearance of my hair and clothes. His eyes then became angry and unreadable and I ducked my head down to look at the floor. A blush spreading across my cheeks.

"Mom Bella's going to be staying the night." Alice said curtly. Never taking her gaze away from Edward. A look of pure disgust on her face.

"That's fine Alice darling. Would you like something to eat dear?" Esme asked me. She was wonderful, like a mother too me. Of course she could never ever replace my own mom but I liked the way Esme treated me like her own, she knew I needed some kind of motherly affection and she was all to happy to hand it out to me on a silver plate.

"If you don't mind Esme." I smiled slightly. I'd been asked to stop calling her Mrs. Cullen a long time ago.

"Why don't we just fucking adopt her." Edward muttered and I blushed again, Alice took my hand and gave her brother a hard look.

"Edward Anthony, language! Bella is a guest in my home and I will not have her feel intimidated by _you_ of all people. I don't know what's gotten into you recently young man but this is not how your father and I raised you to behave towards a lady. A lady like _Bella_ to say the least." Esme scolded.

Edward looked away from his mother and slunk off to sulk somewhere no doubt.

"Bella, Alice told me everything and I'm so sorry. I've tried to find out why he's behaving this way but he just shuts me out. Sweetheart I always want you to feel welcome in my home. Carlisle wishes the same. Our door is always open to you, never forget that. We love you very much Bella." Esme hugged me and I couldn't help the tears that fell.

Tears for the things I had, a father who loved me dearly, the wonderful new friends that I was starting to feel I could not live without, their parents who loved me like I was their own daughter.

Tears for the things I also didn't have. The best friend that I loved and lost and most importantly, the mother that I wished I could see just once more every single day.

**(A.N.): Awwh damn! An emotional chapter there. I really did start to cry :'(... **

**Happy Easter by the way! I hope you all don't gorge yourself too much with chocolate but hey who am I kidding, I'm doing exactly the same :P.**

**I actually **_**adore**_** how much you all want to murder Eduardo right now, the reviews where you describe just exactly **_**how **_**you wish to punish Edward do make me smile so keep em coming!**

**Now then I have a little something to request of you... A challenge so to speak. **

**I want to know how you lovely people would, get even, shall we say? If it was _you_ in Bella's shoes. **

**Tell me in your reviews and the one that makes me smile the most shall be posted in my author's note for the next chapter **_**and**_** that imaginative person shall get a sneak preview of a future chapter, however, I wont say which one ;).**

***does waggly eyebrow thing*.**

**Sound good? I think so. **

**Love you my lovelies :D...**

**-XColourOfAngelsX- **


	4. Make Up Smeared Eyes

What Really Matters

_**Left your t-shirt in my room, still smells of you  
><strong>__**and the picture you hung on the door lay smashed,  
><strong>__**picture perfect  
><strong>__**explains now, clearly  
><strong>__**nothing left, but a memory**_

**Automatic Loveletter- Make-Up Smeared Eyes**

**(A.N.): Well hello again ;). I must say all of your reviews made me smile, it was so hard to choose just one but I eventually managed to slap myself and get it done :P. The best review was from none other than melissaamary55 and that hilarious review is down at the bottom of this chapter. Here's chapter 4!**

**Enjoy :D...**

**(Disclaimer): It's safe to say that my name is not Stephenie Meyer and because of that I must announce that I don't own Twilight.**

Chapter 4- Make-Up Smeared Eyes

"Bye Bells." Alice, Rose and Emmett called as they dropped me off at my house the next day.

"Bye guys." I waved them off from my doorway, my shopping from yesterday in hand.

I left my bags in the hallway as I shut the door and made my way to the kitchen.

"Dad." I shouted. No reply.

It was then that I saw the note that was stuck to the fridge...

_Bells,_

_Harry Clearwater has fallen seriously ill, I don't know if you'll be at home tonight but I'll be at Harry's helping out. If you are home then I'm sorry for leaving you alone but I left you some money for a take out if you don't fancy cooking and I'll be home tomorrow afternoon sometime._

_If you don't want to stay home alone tonight then you could always come over to Harry's, Billy is staying too as is Jacob. Both he and Leah have been asking when they're going to see you again. _

_Whatever you decide..._

_Love, Charlie_

I'd have to ring and wish Harry well but I really didn't fancy going and staying over tonight. I didn't much, fancy staying home alone tonight either, Saturday night was always mine and Edward's movie night. It was my turn to choose and he'd always moan at me for choosing something girly or romantic but I knew he secretly loved them.

I sighed heavily and reached for the phone. After three rings someone picked up.

"Jakes vampire crematorium, you stake em and we'll bake em, how can I help?"

I burst into fits of giggles, it had been so long since I'd spoken to Jake and I'd forgotten that he always answered the phone like that.

"Ah Buffy, our loyal customer! How's life?" I could hear the grin in his voice.

"It is what it is Jakey, how are _you_? I've missed you!"

I genuinely had missed Jacob, he always managed to make me smile like this. He was brilliant.

"I am fabulous my dear Bella and I have to say I'd be lying if I said that I did not miss you."

"Well for that I am glad. Is my dad there... No don't put him on I just wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear that Harry's sick and I hope he gets better soon."

"You coming over tonight Honey Bee? Leah's crazy about seeing you too." He asked.

"No I'm not sorry. I just want to be on my own tonight. I don't suppose Charlie told you?"

"Aww Hells Bells and yeah he did, he wants us to spend time with you, cheer you up I think. If you want to of course."

"Oh I'd love that Jakey-poo, I missed you and Lee-lee a-hella-lotta but if we are meeting up to spend time together then I'd love it if you could meet my friends Alice and Rose, they're fantastical." I smiled.

"Oooh sounds juicy Honey Bee, shall we all meet up for a coffee tomorrow? You can call Alice and Rose and we'll meet you down in the good ole' Bottomless Cup Café in Port Angeles at twelve-ish."

"Sounds like a plan Jakey-poo. I'll see you then."

"Bye bye Honey Bee."

Jesus I loved Jake! He was like that, a single five minute conversation with him could lift your spirits no matter what mood you were in. The only problem now was that he was not here with me, neither was Alice.

This would be the first time that I'd been on my own since Edward had decided he wanted more than I could give him. There were no distractions from my thoughts, they were free to wander wherever they pleased.

I shook my head and picked my phone up again. It only took one ring before it was picked up this time.

"You've reached wonderland, Alice speaking."

"You answer the phone like that too!" I laughed.

"Like who and what?" Alice sounded so confused.

"My friend Jacob always answers the phone with something funny like that and so do you."

"Oh right! Who's Jacob and why haven't I heard about him before?" She giggled.

"Jake is an old friend his dad and Charlie are the best of friends, Charlie's also friends with Harry Clearwater who has a daughter around Jakes age, she's one of my friends too. I've not seen them in a while and I was going to meet up with them tomorrow at lunch. I wanted to know if you and Rose wanted to come too."

"Of course, a friend to you is a friend to me. Where and when?" She said in her sing song voice.

"That coffee shop in Port Angeles, The Bottomless Cup Café at around twelve."

"I shall see you then my lovely, would you like me to pass the message on to our dearest Rosalie?"

"Indeed I would Alice."

"Alright well I'll see you tomorrow but before I go, I have one thing to ask. How are you feeling?"

How are you feeling? The one question I had no idea how to answer. Did I lie? I was a terrible liar, Alice would see through me instantly. I didn't want to freak her out by telling her exactly how low I was feeling.

"I feel better than I did but I still feel crappy." I decided to sugar coat it a little and crossed my fingers in the hope she would believe me.

"Well I suppose that's a little better. Take care Bella, I'm only a phone call then a twenty minute drive away."

"Thank you Alice, bye."

"Bye Bells." She whispered as I hung up. I loved how much she cared but I didn't want her to constantly worry about me.

I decided to take the bags that I'd left in the hallway up to my room to unpack them but that's only a job that keeps the hands busy. Not the mind. I thought about Edward. Would he have been able to tell that I was lying, even on the phone?

I don't think this new Edward would but my old Edward would've. He'd be in his car on the way to my house, I'd steal one of his t-shirts and he would sit me in his lap and rock me back and forth, whispering beautiful things in my ear that would cheer me up.

I removed most of my old underwear that wasn't particularly nice any more and threw it into garbage bag. An old jumper was about to fall down the back of the drawers, I pulled at the sleeve until it landed in my lap and I realised just _who's _jumper this was.

I quickly pulled it over my head. It didn't smell like him, it smelt like me but it was his nonetheless.

This jumper was like Pandora's box, it opened up all the emotions that I'd held back these past few days. I missed him, so much. More than I should after what he'd done to me but that's not the Edward I saw in my head when my thoughts drifted to him. The Edward I saw was the one I fell in love with, the one that cared about me so much that he'd spent a whole year just trying to get me to open up after my mom died, the one that spent a whole year trying to stop me from living like a zombie.

Now I didn't have him and I didn't have my mom. All I wanted was to go back to when I was fourteen, to when my mom would wrap me up in her arms like she had done when I was a baby. She'd tell me stories about her life and she'd tell me everyday how much I meant to her. How I was her miracle. My mother couldn't have children but somehow, when she'd given up hope, she fell pregnant with me.

My world was crumbling around me once again. I just sincerely hoped that I could build it back up again. Or were there too many cracks now?

I dragged myself up onto my bed, kicked off my jeans and curled up into a ball under the covers with Edward's jumper on still. I was exhausted and soon drifted off into an uneasy sleep with dreams of things I'd never have.

I woke up in the morning with a pounding headache. Groaning, I dragged my sorry ass up and into my bathroom.

The mirror probably wasn't the best place for me to look. My hair was all over the place, a haystack as Edward used to call it, and my eyes were all puffy.

I shook my head, today was a new day and I was going out with my amazing old friends and my amazing new friends and I sure as Hell was gonna have a good time! No more dreary Bella from this day forward. I was strong and independent and I shouldn't be moping around because of one stupid guy, yes I did love said guy but he didn't love me, that was a given. So I should move on just like him and that is what I intended to do.

I had my shower and I got dressed, I wore my new purple underwear, my jeans, a black tank top, my silver flats and my jacket.

I curled my hair slightly and put a little bit of make-up on. I didn't usually wear it but this was a new turn, a new me and the new me was going to look nice.

By the time I was ready it was 11:40 and time for me to set off. I walked over to my C.D. Rack and pulled out my Lady Gaga C.D. I actually was in love with Lady Gaga and so what if she's not every body's cup of tea, she was mine and that's all that mattered.

I walked out to my mom's mini. I never usually drove since Edward used to always pick me up and drop me off wherever but I did love this mini. My mom had loved it too, she used to take me for trips to the ice cream parlour whenever Charlie was working late. We'd listen to 80's music and talk about anything and everything. When she died Charlie couldn't bring himself to sell it and so, gave it to me when I was old enough to drive.

I popped my C.D. In and drove off in the direction of Port Angeles. I felt so carefree, I could tell that this was a turning point in my life, a great one and I knew that my friends would be happy for me.

I pulled up into the parking lot and made my way to the little coffee shop, it was a surprisingly nice day and I could already see Jacob and Leah sitting at a table outside. They both stood up and waved like maniacs when they saw me.

"Honey Bee!" They both chorused as they enveloped me in a giant hug.

"Jakey-poo, Lee-lee! God I've missed you." I beamed as I took my seat across from them.

"We have missed you too Honey Bee and I have to say holy shizzle you are looking hella fine. What have we missed?" Leah appraised my outfit with a nod, as did Jake.

"Thank you ladies and I'm making a fresh start. I think one has been long overdue." I announced.

"Well I'll drink to that! Excuse me." Jake called to one of the waiters who came and took our order immediately.

"Where are your friends?" Leah asked.

"Here!" Alice yelled as she and Rose pulled up chairs next to me.

"Hey guys. Alice, Rose this is Jacob and Leah. Leah, Jacob this is Rose and Alice." I introduced my friends to each other.

"Oh it's lovely to meet you ladies, but please call me Jakey-poo and this right here is Lee-lee, Bella is Honey Bee and let me just say that you girls are all smoking! I must be the luckiest gay man here to have such lovely ladies. Maybe we'll attract more men." Jake winked.

"I love him Bella!" Alice gushed as Rose called the waiter over to take their order.

"I love him too, I love them both. Did you know that they both own a beauty salon along this row of shops? Yeah, it's called Bushwhackers." I grinned.

"I'm in love with the name." Rose laughed.

"It's our baby. We graduated from high school last year with just enough money saved to buy the place and now we've got it up and running properly, it's doing so well." Leah exclaimed proudly.

"Wow that sounds amazing, it's been so long since I've been to Port Angeles no wonder I haven't seen it." Alice said.

"Well we expect you to come and visit now you know it's here." Jake chuckled.

"Oh of course!" Alice and Rose agreed.

Just like that they hit it off. Alice and Rose were even given nicknames Alice was Ali-cat and Rose was Ro-roe. I loved how well we all gelled together. This was right.

"Honey Bee that hot guy over there is checking you _out_!" Jake leaned over and whispered, pointing to a tall, blonde who was sat with his coffee reading a book. He was strikingly good looking. Sandy blonde hair and the bluest eyes I'd ever seen.

I blushed when he caught me looking.

"Oh my gosh you have to go over and talk to him!" Rose encouraged.

"Do you really think?" I bit my lip.

"Yes!" They all practically screamed.

I stood up nervously and walked over to where he sat.

"Excuse me, I was just wondering what you were reading." I smiled shyly as his eyes met mine. He was even more handsome up close.

"Oh it's called 'Looking For Alaska' it's by John Green why?" His voice was husky and I liked it.

"You seem so engrossed I just wanted to know if it's any good." I put on my silkiest voice and prayed to God that whatever I was doing it was right.

"I'm enjoying it yes. May I ask you're name?" He smiled.

"My name's Bella."

"Beautiful, like yourself."

I blushed at his words.

"Your turn." I giggled.

"I'm James."

**(A.N.): Oooooh and there you have it, chapter 4 and we have some lovely new characters. I hope you all don't think that James is going to turn into some nasty, woman-beating character because he's not. He shall be as polite as he is now all throughout his stay here in my story :). **

**Also, I sincerely hope no one is angry because I made Jacob gay it's just that he can be a lot more involved if he's gay. I hate Bella/Jacob couplings and if Bella's got James then adding Jacob to the mix as well as Edward will create a love square and let me tell you they're no where near as fun as love triangles ;D. Plus a gay best friend is what every lady needs.**

**Now, referring to my challenge in the previous chapter melissamary55 won however, two people got the sneak previews (not the same one) because they were ****both lovely reviews! Here is the review that showed how melissamary55 would get revenge if it was her in Bella's shoes and wasn't she right on the mark?**

_**If I was in Bella's shoes I would move forward and show Edward that**_ _**she could move on and don't show him weakness even if in the inside she feels**_ _**horrible but like I said, don't show weakness in front of him and also show him**_ _**what he is missing.**_

**Thank you and **_**review**_**!**

**Love you darlings :D...**

**-XColourOfAngelsX-**


	5. I Don't Believe You

What Really Matters

_**No, I don't believe you  
><strong>__**When you say don't come around here no more  
><strong>__**I won't remind you,  
><strong>__**You said we wouldn't be apart**_

**Pink- I Don't Believe You**

**(A.N.): Heeeeey xD! I must say you all seem to _love_ gay Jacob and the fact that James is going to be nice :). I love that! Here is your chapter 5. Sorry for the slight delay... EXAMS -.- **

**Enjoy :D...**

**(Disclaimer): Nu-uh I do not own Twilight, no I don't :(.**

Chapter 5: I Don't Believe You

"Bella, we have to go." Alice announced as she came over to where James and I were sat.

I had been sat here for the past half an hour. James was hilarious and I was having an amazing time.

"Okay dear. Well James, it's been lovely to meet you." I smiled as I stood.

"Bella, could I, uh, get your, uh, number please? That is if you want to, I mean you don't ha-" He was so nervous it made me giggle because he was so sweet.

"Here you go." I laughed as I programmed my number into his phone and handed it back to him.

As I turned to leave he called me back.

"Bella, could we go out sometime, maybe, if you'd like?" He was rambling again and it was adorable.

"Of course James, I'd love that! Just give me a call whenever you want to go out." I walked over and kissed his cheek before I left.

I walked back to the girls trying not to squeal like a little girl, I knew James was still watching me.

"Holy shizzle Honey Bee!" Jake didn't hold back his squeal.

"Did you get his number?" Leah asked as we walked up the street.

"No but he got mine."

"Even better!" Alice clapped her hands and bounced on the spot with Jake.

"So you like him then." Rose grinned.

"Well I like what I've seen so far and I'd like to get to know him a little more." I said slowly.

"Oh lets all go back to mine for a bit." Alice beamed. "Munchies and movies all round!"

"Sounds amazing, we'll ride with Bella." Jake exclaimed excitedly.

"SHOTGUN" Jake and Leah screamed at the same time."

"I won that!" Jake cried.

"Like Hell you did." Leah batted Jacob's hand away.

"I think Jake did just get there first." Rose laughed.

Defeated, Leah slunk off to the back of my car whilst a smug Jake climbed into the front next to me.

We blasted out Lady Gaga all the way to Alice's. I liked how it had become Alice's and not Edward's house.

"I love boys and that is that, it's livin' when you call me legs." Jake howled out his favourite part of the song 'Boys Boys Boys'. How fitting.

Leah and I exchanged a look in the rear view mirror.

As we pulled up into the garage, I took note of how every Cullen car was present and correct, meaning Edward was home.

"Jeez Jakey-poo we could hear you all the way from _our _car." Alice giggled as we pulled up chairs in the Cullen kitchen.

"Sorry Ali-cat." Jake's tone showed that he wasn't sorry whatsoever. "What can I say, though, when you've got a Lady G itch there's nothing you can do other than scratch it."

"Here here sister." I clapped.

"Hello Alice, Rose, Bella. Who're you're friends?" Esme asked as she and Carlisle walked into the kitchen. A sullen Edward following close behind, to be nosey no doubt.

"This is Jake and Leah. Our new friends, Bella's old friends." Alice introduced.

"Well it's lovely to meet you. Can I get you anything?" Esme smiled sweetly.

"No thanks Mrs. C but can I just say holy moly! You're parents are hot Ali-cat! H.O.T. Hot." Jake whistled to emphasize his point.

Carlisle and Esme just raised an eyebrow.

"Oh sorry, I forgot to say. I may be a beef cake but I'm about as straight as a bag of curly fries." He laughed.

This in turn made Esme and Carlisle laugh.

"Oh mom guess what! Bella here has got herself a date." Alice winked, pointing at me just in case anyone forgot who I was. I blushed instantly.

Edward's head snapped up and his beautiful angry eyes met mine.

Esme shot him a sideways glance.

"Alice, it's not quite a date." I whispered.

"Oh nonsense Honey Bee, he asked for your number and then asked if you wanted to go out sometime. Now if that's not offering himself to you on a silver platter then I don't know what is." Leah waggled her eyebrows.

"Oh what's he like?" Esme squealed as I pulled up a chair across from her.

"Well he's pretty tall, he's got blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He's so funny and just adorable." I gushed, noting once again how his appearance was a polar opposite to Edward's.

"Oh wow he sounds like a dream. Is he handsome? I bet he's handsome." She continued.

"Oh Esme darling he is just one fine fine piece of donkey." Jake informed her. Esme grinned cheekily.

"Where's Em?" Rose asked suddenly.

"Football." Esme and Carlisle answered together.

"Oh is that your big 'hunk of meat' fella then Ro-roe?" Jake was drooling all over Esme's lovely mahogany table.

"Indeed it is Jakey-poo but he's mine so hands off or I'll rip them off." Rose's voice was menacingly sweet.

"_Damn_ _girl_, you are one scary chick!" We all laughed at that because it was true. All of us except Edward. He was sat there with the most peculiar emotion in his eyes, I couldn't make out what that emotion was though.

Perhaps I shouldn't dwell too much about what goes on in Edward's mind.

I couldn't help it though, I had spent most of my life looking out for him. A part of me still hoped that the old Edward was somewhere in that new Edward's head.

I think Alice noticed that my day dreams were taking me into dangerous territory because she quickly changed the subject.

"So when do you think James will call?" She asked.

"If it's before three days then he's just screaming the word desperate. " Leah warned.

"It just means he's eager, and I mean look at you! Why wouldn't he be? Ignore miss rules and regulations." Jake waved Leah's comment away like it was a puff of smoke.

She (maturely, I might add) stuck her tongue out at him.

"We're off out now kids but we'll be back some time tomorrow morning, money for the pizza guy is on the kitchen counter. Bye!" Esme and Carlisle chorused as they left for their night shifts at the hospital.

"I swear I live off pizza." I joked as I helped Alice drag duvets and pillows down the stairs. She laughed just as the doorbell sounded.

"Oh shoot I'll have to get that, it'll be the pizza dude. Would you mind getting the DVD out of Edward's room. You don't have to even look in his general direction, it's only on his computer desk by the door." She bit her lip and looked at me hopefully.

How could I say no to her puppy dog eyes? But how could I go in Edward's room by myself. What if he said something horrible?

I nodded my head once and Alice gave me a grateful smile as she ran to open the door.

I knocked on the door three times and entered the room slowly.

Edward was lying face down on his bed without a shirt on, his hair was soaked and there was the most delicious smell coming from his bathroom, like honey, vanilla and burning wood. I couldn't get enough but I knew I had to keep it together. The muscles in his back tensed as he sat up and slowly turned to face me.

His green eyes bore into my skin as he stared at me in confusion.

"I'm just getting the DVD for tonight." My voice was cracked and I cursed myself for letting the weakness I felt seep through my words. "Alice said it was on here." I said, looking at the desk where his monstrously expensive stereo was perched on the corner and various pieces of scribbled on paper were strewn.

"No it's in the machine." He responded quietly, his voice hoarse. "I'll get it now."

He got up from his bed and walked over to his fancy DVD player. I openly stared at him whilst he did this, every time he pushed a button on the box his arm would tense and it left me dumbstruck.

I begrudgingly tugged my eyes away from him. I scolded myself for getting so carried away, perhaps I needed reminding of exactly why I had some random guys number in my pocket...

No? Didn't think so.

"Here." He handed me the box and I took it without a word. Where were the snide looks and cruel words that I had become so accustomed to with him?

"DID SOMEONE ORDER A HUNK AND SOME PIZZA?" Emmett bellowed through the house.

"Ooooh I did!" Jake piped up from somewhere in the house. I turned my head and smiled down the stairs. I didn't belong up here any more, my place was down there with the noise and the riot. I was wanted there.

As I stepped out of the door Edward croaked out my name.

I didn't turn around.

I didn't know whether I was coming or going with Edward right now and I certainly wasn't going to demean myself by becoming his 'secret' friend. I wasn't going to let him treat me like shit at school in front of his new popular friends then be my best friend once again when those friends weren't around. I had too much self respect than to let myself be messed around like that.

I left Edward at the top of the stairs without a single glance behind me and met my group at the bottom.

"Bout time Honey Bee, I need to see me some Orlando Bloom/Johnny Depp swashbuckling hotness. Pronto!" Jake squealed.

"Well it's here now Jakey-poo so you don't have to worry your pretty little head much longer." I giggled.

"The pizza is getting cold in here douche-wieners!" Rose yelled from the living room.

"Coming!" Jake called as he dragged me to where the food was.

I saw Alice give a 'well it's your own fault' look to her brother on the stairs before Jake yanked her by the arm and pulled her along with us.

I was definitely imagining that.

The movie was just beginning when a figure appeared at the door.

"Could I have some left over pizza?" Edward asked once Leah had paused the film.

Jake huffed and looked away. Edward wasn't in Jake's good books, he wasn't in any of our good books really but Jake seemed to really hate him.

"Here it is." Alice pointed to the couch behind her and then made me shuffle up so that he could sit behind us, mouthing a quick 'I'm sorry' as she did so.

I ignored the fact that he was so close and that the electric charge that buzzed whenever we were close to one another was currently trying to electrocute me.

I just watched Pirates of the Caribbean and laughed with Alice.

And then I got the text...

I could hear my phone buzz on the arm of the couch next to Edward but I didn't want to have to look at him so I left it.

About two minutes later Edward stood up swiftly, dropped my phone in my lap and went to his room, slamming the door as he went.

"What's crawled up his backside?" Jake turned to me, as did everyone else.

I looked down at my lap, to the opened message on my phone.

_'Hey Bella it's James, I was just wondering if you'd like to meet up again but officially, like a date? I had a great time this afternoon. I haven't laughed like that in a long time..._

_Anyway let me know, I'm looking forward to hearing from you,_

_James x'_

Alice looked up at me, she'd read it too.

"What are you gonna say?" She asked grinning.

I bit my lip.

_'Hi James, I had a great time too! I'd love to go on a date with you, It's been a while since I laughed too. Maybe we could talk about why that is?_

_Bella x'_

**(A.N.): Now I am so so so so so so so so so so (I think you get the picture) sorry about the time it has taken for me to update but things have been pretty shitty lately. Exams -.- and a technological meltdown (a.k.a. The laptop got a virus, I can assure you I have no idea how that came to be ;]).**

**This chapter would actually have been updated the other day but my sister was involved in a coach accident coming back from a school trip. All is well but I've been preoccupied with that.**

**I can only apologise and promise that the new chapter will not be far behind this one (hopefully there will be no more accidents and I only have one more exam left to do on Tuesday -cue happy dance-).**

**Anywho, I want to thank anyone who has reviewed so far, I'm having a blast with this story and I hope you are too. It's only just getting started too ;) fun fun fun! **

**I love how we all love Jake and James, they were my main concerns because if those characters are written off automatically because they don't fit the mould of fanfiction then I would be pretty much screwed. **

**Thank you so much!**

**Love you all from the bottom of my Dorito's bag :')...**

**-XColourOfAngelsX-**


	6. For The First Time

What Really Matters

_**Oh these times are hard  
><strong>__**Yeah they're making us crazy,  
><strong>__**Don't give up on me baby  
><strong>_**The Script- For The First Time**

**(A.N.): Hello my lovely readers! I've had lots of fun with this chapter and I hope you like it :). It is kina sad and for that I am sorry. Also if you haven't heard of the song for this chapter then I suggest you seriously look it up. It's AMAZING!**

**Enjoy xD...**

**(Disclaimer): I don't own Twilight (I'd be one rich mofo if I did though)!**

Chapter 6: For The First Time

The next morning was stressful to say the least. After waving goodbye to Leah and Jake Alice had me showered dressed and was applying mascara to my face. I will never understand the need for make up but Alice had insisted.

I was meeting James again today, I was accompanying him to the park whilst he took his dog for a walk. I didn't think it was a date but Alice did.

"And voila! My work here is done." Alice announced when she finally relented with the blusher brush. "Well... Go on, look in that mirror and tell me I haven't turned you into a work of art."

I did as she said because, come on! This is Alice and she gets mean when she doesn't get her way.

I couldn't believe it. I was, for want of a better word, gorgeous. She'd made me look so natural yet different. My hair was down casually; just loose curls and my constant blush was accentuated with the blush that Alice had just applied. My eyes seemed bigger and brighter.

"Alice I don't know how you do it but you are a-freaking-mazing!" I gushed.

"I know, I know." She grinned, giving me a little wink and a bow for added effect.

"You ready Honey Bee?" She asked once we were just by the door.

"Ready for what?" A sour faced Edward emerged from his bedroom, his hair sticking up at all angles. Just how I liked it.

I shook those thoughts away. He never was and never will be mine and besides, I was about to go on my sort of date with James.

"Bella's off on a date with that hunky James guy. I turned her into a beautiful swan, don't you think?" Alice beamed.

I looked up at him shyly, I doubt he'd see me as the swan Alice created. I was more of an ugly duckling in his eyes. I repulsed him.

"Yeah whatever have fun! Try not to scare him away with your dorkiness and general lack of balance." He sneered.

I hung my head and silently cursed Alice for opening her mouth.

"Don't be a fucking prick Edward, just because your jealous of the fact that you were never man enough to get some and now Bella is seeing a man that has the balls to do something about his affections for Bella! You know you're being a real dick towards the person who was your world not one week ago. _Twat_!" Alice spat.

I was shocked. Alice rarely swore and this was the most I'd ever heard in one breath. I _was _grateful for it though.

"Piss off Alice." Edward hissed.

Then he turned on his heel and slammed his bedroom door behind him.

"Bella, look at me. He is just stupid, he doesn't want to admit his faults and his biggest fault was letting you go. He knows that, we all do. Don't go getting upset over his lies, he thinks you're the most beautiful thing on this planet." She said, ducking down to meet my eyes. I snorted.

"Believe me, he's told me so before. He has some weird bravado going on at the moment and I really don't understand him but believe me I _will_ get to the bottom of this. Mark my words Isabella Swan! Now you go on your date with Mr Sexypants and have a freaking good time! You look stunning Bells, don't listen to Turdward. I love you." Alice insisted whilst pushing me out of the door and towards my car.

"I love you too Ali-cat." I smiled as I pulled out of the Cullen drive.

I craned my neck round to see if James had arrived yet. I was a little late but I think he was too. I had no idea whether or not he was coming in his car or if he was walking, I didn't know if he lived near of far away. I knew nothing other than what he'd chosen to show me on our first meeting yesterday.

Ten minutes passed and I was starting to worry. Had I been stood up? That would be the last thing I needed, to go to Alice's and have to explain the whole embarrassing story then be made a mockery of at school because Edward had found out and thought it would be a fantastic way to humiliate me even further.

I needn't have worried though because less than a minute later there was a tap on my shoulder and there was James and next to him stood a monstrous dog. My eyes widened in horror.

"Hey Bella. Sorry I'm late but Frank decided that the squirrel in the tree was very interesting and, well, I've gotta admit. I'm not buff enough to hold this tough guy back." James grinned, patting Frank (I'm assuming Frank was the dog's name).

"He's huge." I giggled.

"He's a St. Bernard, my dad used to take him out for walks but since he left; my mom can't control Frank so I've got to. Can't say I do a fantastic job though." James said sheepishly.

"I doubt anyone could control that beast!" I laughed.

"Oh he's a big softie really." James beamed. "Do you wanna hold him?"

"Oh I, well- I'm not so sure I'm strong enough. You'll have to be patient." I warned him.

"I'm sure you'll be fine." James smiled but I could see the genuine worry in his eyes.

I suppose it was quite comforting to know that he was worried for me.

I was having an amazing time with James. After watching me get dragged around the park by Frank, James finally took over and led me to the tiny ice cream parlour that was nearby.

We were able to sit outside thanks to the unusual sunny weather. James was just as charming as he was the first time we met. It was fantastic that I could be myself with him so naturally, I felt any insecurities that Edward had put into my head before I came melt away.

So then why did this not feel right? Why did I not feel the attraction that I should be feeling towards James?

I was feeling things completely backwards. I was feeling the attraction to Edward (I always did) when I _should _be thinking of him as a best friend (well maybe not anymore) and I felt like James was more of a best friend when I _should_ feel the attraction to him.

"What's wrong Bella?" James asked.

"N-nothing, why?"

"I can tell that there is something Bells. You've changed from 'happiness and smiles' to 'all conversations will be held in my head and I will be as quiet as a mouse' c'mon, you can tell me. I'm a good listener I promise." His bottom lip came out in full force and I had to giggle.

"I shouldn't be talking about this on a date with you James it's not fair." I sighed.

"Ah so it's a guy that's got you down." James guessed.

I looked down at Frank who was dosing happily in the sun. How lovely it must be to be a dog, man's best friend and all that jazz. The only worries a dog has is whether or not the slipper in it's mouth is going to displease it's owner. I sighed, If only...

"I thought so." He gave me a knowing look. "I don't mind if you tell me you know, it won't ruin our date."

"Well I kind of like this guy and I really shouldn't." I began.

"Oh is he taken?"

"No no, well yes but he wasn't when I um..." I couldn't quite complete the sentence.

"Fell for him." James finished.

I couldn't deny it I _had _fallen for Edward, I could no longer try to kid myself.

"Yes." I agreed.

"So now you can't be with him because he's with someone else?" James questioned.

"Well there are other contributing factors." I looked up from my hands to meet his sky blue eyes.

James waved his hand for me to explain further.

"He was my best friend." I bit my lip, I felt so silly just pouring my heart out to a guy I'd only met one before.

"What do you mean was? Did he drop you like a hot coal once he got himself a girlfriend because if he did then Bella, you really don't need someone like that."

I couldn't believe how sweet James actually was.

"Not exactly, he dropped me like a hot stone before he got a girlfriend." James looked confused. "We were both geeks, so to speak, and well. I didn't know that Edward hated that."

"_You _were a geek." James said incredulously.

"Yup and so was Edward. We both got picked on at school, I'll admit that Edward had it worse than I did but we were both there for each other so I never saw it as being that bad. Having one true friend in Edward was a hundred times better than the group of fake friends that the people who put us down had. Edward obviously didn't share my views."

"So he wanted to be popular? I'm guessing from what you said before that he did indeed become popular." James looked at me, the sympathy thick in his gaze.

"Yeah, his family are all popular at school and I suppose he wanted the same things. Edward is an amazing musician and on the day that he decided he'd had enough, he performed for his music class. Word got round and by lunch Edward's baggy jumper was gone along with his glasses and his respect for the people he cared about. Half the skanks at school were at his feet and little old me was thrown out into the trash with the rest of his old self." I could feel the familiar sting in my eyes whenever I thought back on this particular day.

"Bella that's awful. How could he just turn on you like that!" James growled.

I found it lovely that James seemed to genuinely care.

"Anyway, you have some s'plainin to do too mister. Remember when you texted me and you said that you hadn't smiled in a while? Yeah well come on I told you mine now you tell me yours." I was trying to direct the conversation elsewhere and I think he knew it but he was tactful enough not to say anything.

"Oh yeah, well. I'm not quite sure where to start." He smiled sheepishly.

I put my hand on his, noting (much to my disappointment) how there were no sparks like there were when Edward and I touched.

"Start at the beginning, it's always best." I smiled encouragingly.

"Okay well; I was going out with my first serious girlfriend, her name was Nadine and, this is gonna sound so stupid, I was madly in love from the moment we met. Friends always said I was whipped but I didn't care because I had my Nadine, they just didn't understand." He laughed without humour. "Anyway, one night we were out with friends at a party, the drink was flowing but I was driving so I stayed clear of the alcohol. Nadine seemed to be drinking enough for the both of us though."

James paused and took in a huge breath. When he let it out it was shaky and it made me uncomfortable. There was another pause before he continued.

"I got a call from my mom saying that she'd finally kicked my good for nothing father out, she wanted me to come home. I think she was upset even though it_ had_ been a long time coming. I went to find Nadine, I was her ride home you see. She was having none of it. She told me that she'd get a lift home with a friend." He stopped again and closed his eyes. "Looking back, I guess I should have persisted. I mean not one of the other people at that party were sober."

Oh God no! I could see where this was heading. I squeezed his hand, which was still under mine and he opened his eyes.

"Nobody would give her a lift so she thought she would be okay to drive herself home. It was late and she didn't want to ring me and ask me to pick her up. She sent me a text explaining all this but I hadn't checked my phone. You don't know how that has tortured me. I got a call from her mother in the morning asking if Nadine had stayed at mine. You can imagine my horror when I realised that she hadn't returned home."

Frank came and lay his huge head in his master's lap.

"I found the text and phoned the police. Less than an hour later I got a phone call asking me to go to the station. Nadine's mom was there when I got to the police station. We were asked to identify Nadine'd body."

I gasped.

"They said she'd veered off the road and hit a tree. She died on impact." James nodded and I thought that maybe knowing that gave him some form of comfort. Knowing that she hadn't suffered. "I don't think her mother will ever forgive me."

"But it's not your fault." I exclaimed.

"I think she needs someone to blame." James looked so grief-stricken.

"So that's the beginning, wanna hear the middle and end?" He asked suddenly.

I was taken aback, I thought that was the story. I had no idea that this was only the beginning.

"Of course." I breathed.

"My mother and I moved here to forks when I was about eighteen so two years after Nadine's death. I hadn't had any serious relationships since. If I'm honest, I was scared. I didn't want to feel the pain of heartbreak again. I enrolled in school and carried on with my life. I met a girl, her name was Victoria and it did take a while but I started to feel like I had with Nadine. I felt the love again. Victoria helped me, she listened to my story and she comforted me in a way no one else had. It was refreshing and it wasn't long before I fell in love with her, she was just fantastic." He genuinely smiled now and I started to wonder how and when it went wrong.

"We were together for a year and I was happier than I had been in a long time. Then about three months ago she just ended it. She said she needed space, freedom. She felt like things were getting too serious, we were too young. I couldn't believe that my heart had been broken again, I know this isn't exactly a manly thing to say but my heart was already fragile and I couldn't take it."

"I'm so sorry James." I didn't know what else to say, I thought I'd been through some pretty intense things in my short time on earth but James was beating me hands down.

"Don't be Bella, you're the first person who's piqued my interest in three months. I'm just sad to admit that we're both obviously not over the people we love, I think we could've been so good together."

I was glad that he felt the same way as me, I was afraid I was gonna have to let him down gently and I'm not too sure how much more disappointment he could take.

"I really do like you James, you are hilarious and you _really _make me smile but I have to agree, we're both just too in love with other people. I do however think that we'd be great friends." I beamed and suddenly the heavy intense atmosphere was gone, lifted like a balloon. We were both back to making jokes and poking fun at one another.

"I don't doubt for one minute that we'll be great friends." James laughed.

A sudden flash of mischief crossed his face and I became very suspicious.

"What are you cooking up?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"I was just thinkning..." He stared into the sky exaggeratedly pretending to stroke a non-existent beard.

"About?" I pressed.

"Well we both love someone who doesn't seem to love us back." He began.

"Yes."

"How's about we help each other out. Play a little game of Cupid, shall we say. I could help you out with Edward and-"

"I could help you get Victoria back." I finished.

"Precisely." James said in a very poor attempt at a posh English accent.

"It'll be difficult." I warned.

"I can handle difficult." He whispered.

I leant forward. "There may be danger in our paths."

"I'll kick dangers ass."

"Then let's do this." I tried to keep the apprehension out of my voice.

This should be fun...

**(A.N): Awwh :( that was actually quite a bi-polar chapter. I felt like I was on a roller coaster writing that. **

**I'm not going to go into how late this is because I know you're sick of hearing it but know that I am really sorry. **

**On a happier note I passed my G.C.S.E.'s :D! Hoo-freaking-ray! **

**I'd also like to say hi to 'GracefullyGothic' if she's reading this. I'm glad you like this story, makes me happy dear and I hope you did well in your G.C.S.E.'s too (but of course you did because I mean c'mon! It's you).**

**Next chapter won't be long I swear. James won't let me waste anymore time!**

**Reviews are better than Frank, Alice, Ice Cream and a shirtless Edward all sprinkled on a cookie!**

**Love you all :')...**

**-XColourOfAngelsX-**


	7. White Blank Page

What Really Matters

_**You desired my attentions but denied my affections,  
><strong>__**Affections  
><strong>__**But tell me now where was my fault,  
><strong>__**in loving you with my whole heart  
><strong>_**Mumford and Sons- White Blank Page**

**(A.N.): Another year another chapter :). I'm really sorry I've not been a good girl when it comes to updating but it's here now and I'm rather pleased with it's turn out. An enormous thanks to PurplePandasLoVe for getting me inspired :').**

**Enjoy xD!**

**(Disclaimer): Nah I still don't own Twilight :/... Just kidding... Actually I was kidding about kidding :( **

Chapter 7: White Blank Page

"First things first we've got to get him jealous." James grinned.

"But he has a girlfriend." I bit my lip.

"So. Soccer has a goalie but that doesn't mean you can't score. Oh by the way that's very oddly attractive." He mimicked my lip biting.

"Nervous habit." I blushed.

"Well then I'd like to see you nervous more often." He laughed.

"Seriously James, what is this master plan of yours? How are we going to make him jealous?" I sighed after finishing my second milkshake.

"We need to make sure everyone is in on this little plan firstly otherwise it'll never work out." He began, " and then we basically just flaunt that we're an item and milk every second of torture that we give him for what it's worth."

"When are we putting this plan into action?" I asked.

"You give Alice a call and we can start right now."

An hour later and we were sitting in Alice's living room explaining our 'master' plan to her and Rose.

"So you're going to pretend to be an item?" Alice quizzed.

"Basically." I replied.

"I for one think it's genius." Rose beamed.

"Where is the douchebag in question?" James craned his neck around the room, looking for any signs of a bronze- haired Adonis.

"He went out sulking when I had a few words with him earlier." Alice shrugged.

"What did he say" I knew Alice had said she'd speak to him about what had been happening recently but I didn't think that would be so soon and I was eager to know what he'd said about this whole sorry situation.

"I'll tell you late-" She was cut off by a nasal giggle coming from the now open doorway.

"Oh Eddie you're so funny." No one could mistake Tanya Denali's sickly squeak of a voice. I felt like throwing up.

"Oh Lord have mercy." Rose muttered under her breath as my two favourite people barged through the door.

"Ooops." Tanya giggled as she tugged on Edward's sleeve to try and get him to leave the room.

Edward, however, was not moving an inch. He had zoned in on me and James and was staring murderously at James' hand, which was currently rubbing soothing circles on my thigh with his thumb. Seriously, Edward looked like he should have lasers shooting from his eyeballs. Finally he tore his eyes away from James' hand up to James' face where James responded to this with a smirk and a raise of his eyebrows. Edward then shifted his gaze to me.

"Eddie, what are you doing? Come on." Tanya whined as she, again, tried unsuccessfully to pull Edward out of the room.

"Go home." Edward growled menacingly, never taking his eyes from mine.

"What?" She asked, completely dumbfounded.

"You heard me Tanya, go home." He seethed.

"Oh. Okay. Well I guess I'll call you." She frowned as she left

As soon as we heard the front door shut behind her, Edward rounded on me.

"Who the fuck is this in my house?"

"Bella's new fella." Alice replied happily.

"Hey that rhymed." James grinned.

"Hey so it did." Alice beamed.

"So what, you're letting someone you've known for all of five minutes into our home." Edward barked.

"Bella trusts him, why shouldn't we?" Rose glared at him, puffing herself up to her full height (well as high as you could be sitting down).

"Oh lets all just take Bella's word for it because she knows this guy _so_ well. Her judgement must be brilliant and higher than anyone else's since we're just welcoming a random person into the house." Edward sneered sarcastically.

I was so pissed at him, I could feel the anger bubbling all the way from my toes.

"You know what everyone? Edward's right, my judgement of people is crap! I mean look at the mistake I made in choosing him as a best friend. Here was me thinking that I'd found someone that I could bare my soul to, someone who would always be there for me no matter what but it turns out he'd drop me the first moment he got if it meant that he could have his fifteen minutes of fame at Forks High. So yeah maybe we shouldn't trust James cause when I seem to trust a person, they usually give me a reason why I shouldn't." I snapped.

I was addressing the room but I never took my eyes from Edward's, hoping that all my hatred could be conveyed in the look I was giving him.

He looked slightly taken aback, probably not expecting to me to have a voice and to just shrink back into myself like I usually did when he began his verbal onslaught.

I felt a pair of strong arms wrap round my waist as James stroked my hair and wiped the angry tears, that I didn't know had escaped, away. I appreciated James' efforts to calm me down and placed a small kiss on the palm of his hand as he continued to stroke my cheek.

Edward looked disgusted as he left the room and stomped up the staircase to his bedroom.

"Go Bella!" Rose shouted proudly.

"Well I think we've messed with _Eddie's_ head enough for one day now Bells, I'll head home now and call you later on. You gonna be okay?" He asked, standing to hug me.

"I'll be fine." I sighed and hugged him back before waving goodbye to him at the doorway.

"Bella will you stay here again tonight?" Alice asked as I went up to join her and Rose in her bedroom.

"Yeah sure, I'll have to call Charlie though." I replied, flopping down onto the bed with a sigh.

"Already done my dear." Alice grinned as she skipped to her dresser to fluff up her hair.

"Then why ask?" I laughed as she shrugged her shoulders and danced back over to the dresser.

"Guys I'm afraid I have to head off, Em's taking me out and then we're staying at mine. My parents are away and we're going to make the most of it if you know what I mean." Rose waggled her eyebrows suggestively as I rolled my eyes and Alice slapped her arm playfully.

"Eww get gone before you go into further details of your night with my _brother_, note the emphasis on the word _brother_!" Alice wrinkled her nose in disgust as Rose just laughed and left the room.

A few hours after Rosalie had left, Alice and I ended up in fits of laughter after watching a video of some girl asking where her chapstick had gone.

Alice's phone began to buzz on the side, " Hello." She giggled breathlessly.

I could hear Jasper's voice on the other end of the line.

"What's tickled your funny bone darlin'?" He chuckled.

"It's just this video on youtube of some girl and her chapstick." She answered.

"Oh I love that one." Jasper laughed.

"Me too sweet, now what can I do for ya?" She put on her best southern accent to imitate her boyfriend.

"I was just wondering if you fancied comin' over? I can't take Rose and Em's noise anymore and I was thinkin' you and I could give them a run for their money."

"Oh well... see, I can't Jazz. Bella's he-," She began but I cut her off shaking my head and mouthing _'go, I'll be fine'_.

_'you sure?' _She mouthed back. I just nodded, I could go home. It didn't matter and she'd spent so much time with me recently, I felt bad for keeping her from seeing her boyfriend.

"Nevermind I'll set off as soon as I can, love you Jazzy." She sang.

"Love you too sugar." He responded as she shut off the phone and hugged me tight.

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you Honey Bee!" She beamed at me whilst she scrambled to grab the things she'd need.

I stood to leave too.

"Where are you going Bella?"

"Erm, home?" It was more of a question.

"Oh nonsense! Stay, there's no need to drive home now." She insisted.

"But what about Edward?"

"Ignore him honey. Just go, take a shower, do what you want and I'll make him give you a ride to school tomorrow. No don't argue, it's happening. You won't have to speak to him I swear. Okay well, thanks again Bells. Goodnight, love you." She smiled hugging me and then rushing out of the door.

Then all of a sudden it was just me and Edward in his house, just like the hundreds of times before and yet also so different.

I sighed and decided to watch the video of the girl and her chapstick again to cheer me up, it helped. A little.

I then decided that it was probably time for me to get off my sorry ass and take a shower. There were, however, some complications.

My dear friend Alice had 'forgotten' to let me know that her shower wasn't working. I knew that her guest bathroom was currently being renovated so I couldn't use that and I shuddered to think what Emmett's shower would be like.

I was left with no other option but to enter enemy territory with a white flag and ask to use his shower. This should be immensely fun. Toothache kind of fun.

I knocked tentatively on his door practically gnawing off my bottom lip.

"Come in." He called.

Edward was lay on the bed surrounded by music sheets, no doubt writing another piece to show off to the rest of the school tomorrow. He sat up straight when he saw me and cleared his throat.

"Um, the erm, shower in Alice's room isn't working, and your guest shower isn't available and I _really_ can't bring myself to use Emmett's shower. Could I-" He cut me off.

"Sure go right ahead." He said nervously, one hand rubbing the back of his neck whilst the other tugged at his hair (a nervous habit of his).

"Thanks." I smiled slightly as I pushed open the door to his huge bathroom.

It had been so long since I'd been in his room and I'd forgotten how much his scent seemed to linger on everything. It was divine and I tried to soak it up as much as I possibly could, who knows when I'd get to smell it again. That sounded slightly stalkerish didn't it?

I let the hot water slide over my skin in the hopes that maybe it would wash away some of my worries and stress, I was trying to get into a different mindset but it's not simple to just wake up one day and go 'hey self, we're no longer going to give a hoot about what other people's opinions on us are' and as much as I hoped to one day achieve this, I knew I couldn't just turn it on like a light switch. It would take some time.

After some time I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in one of Edward's fluffy blue towels. I hadn't brought any clothes to change into so I'd have to brave walking through Edward's room clad in nothing but a towel, I was also hoping that maybe it would help with the whole 'I don't give a crap' mindset.

However, when I opened the door to his room he was not there. I shrugged and made my way back up to Alice's room when I heard the ghostly familiar sound of the piano coming from the music room upstairs.

The music soothed me more than the shower did and I felt myself being pulled towards it like a magnet. I crept up the stairs so as not to disturb Edward for fear that he might not want to play for me anymore and stood in the shadows of the open doorway just watching him.

He really was spectacular, the way his fingers moved across the ivory keys, almost like a caress and the seriousness of his face as he concentrated on what he was playing.

I'd never heard this one before but it was hauntingly beautiful, I could feel the goosebumps begin to form on my arms and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up as the mood of the song shifted to something slightly more melancholy.

He caught sight of me in my hiding place in the corner and for a split second that he might get angry with me but as our eyes locked, emerald to brown, I only saw sorrow and devastation in them.

He motioned with his head for me to join him and I couldn't deny the chilling notes as they seemed to wrap around me and pull me in the direction of the piano stool.

As soon as I sat down it was like nothing had ever gone wrong between us, I could remember the hundreds of times Edward and I had sat like this with him playing for me, both of us helping the other. All those times that his music had lulled me to sleep and he'd carried me down to his room and the times when I was so broken that this was the only thing to put me back together. Hours and hours spent like this. Our unique friendship growing and becoming stronger, the understanding of one another without the need for words.

The music eventually died but Edward's eyes had never left mine. There were no words exchanged as Edward bent his head down to mine, I was too scared to make a sound in case we both snapped out of this spell we were under.

When his lips eventually brushed against my own it was like any prior hated towards him was melting away along with any doubts that I had about this whole situation.

Without breaking contact he gently pulled me onto his lap and it was only then that I remembered what I was wearing. Reluctantly pulling away, I blushed when Edward's eyes roamed over my body and darkened considerably.

His lips met mine again with more force than before and I found myself winding my fingers into his hair to feel somewhat grounded. As the kiss deepened and his tongue met mine, Edward's hands wandered up my sides slowly, sinfully. I whimpered as his nimble fingers traced my collarbone and one hand gently played with the end of my damp hair.

He moaned quietly when I bit down on the bottom of his lip and that was all I needed to slap me out of the spell.

I gasped and pulled back, practically leaping of his lap and stumbling out of the doorway and down the stairs.

"Bella wait!" Edward yelled as he came to the top of the staircase. I looked back up at him with pleading eyes, silently asking him not to come down after me.

"I can't, I just can't. Maybe before but not now Edward. I'm... sorry." My voice broke as I whispered back to him, my eyes brimming with tears that I couldn't let fall.

I turned and dashed into Alice's room, locking the door behind me.

I was confused and angry with myself for getting so carried away and letting him think that he could use me like that. I quickly threw on my pyjamas and phoned the only person that I knew could make any sense to me right now, someone that wouldn't judge my actions...

The ring sounded three times before a soothing voice answered.

"James, we kissed."

**(A.N.): Well, well, well... Bella what were you thinking my dear? This isn't going to work out too well now is it? I just hope James knows what your next move is young lady. Playing with fire only ever results in blisters...**

**Hey everyone, I'm so sorry about the lack of updates. Shit. Is. Craaaaaaazy at the moment and to be completely honest writing has been the last thing on my mind. However I am going to be a good egg from now on and have set myself a goal, I aim to update at least once a week possibly twice :) dontcha love me... **

**No... **

**Okay then :( moving swiftly on. I changed my user name, this one is a lot more personal to me now and well, I love it. It also happens to be my username for everything else e.g. Twitter (PlanetAmy_ if you happen to be in the slightest bit interested *hint hint, nudge nudge*).**

**I hope to have the next chapter up soon as it is being written as we speak however I shall have to see how everything pans out. I hope you all had a fantastic Christmas and new year (I'm saying this and we're almost in March) I hope Breaking Dawn Part 1 was everything you hoped it would be (feel free to let me know what you thought). Anyone else excited for Bel Ami? I can barely contain myself. **

**Anywho I'll shut up now and get on with your next chapter. **

**As always I love every single one of you...**

**-Amy :)**


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